Key West Feasting Adventures

The Key Largo Arby's was our first stop en route to our Key West vacation. Apparently, mustard and relish have been ousted by some villainous condiment coup and replaced with "Arby's" and "Horsey." WTF?

For the record, I'm well aware that I haven't posted anything for quite a long time. My only excuse is that it is summer in Portland, so it just hasn't been an interest of mine to sit in front of a computer for any reason. Sorry.

Anyway, I figure I'll get back on the wagon with some tales of my food adventures on my family's vacation to Key West. First, let's discuss conch fritters. There actually used to be an animal inside of those pink shells everyone has perched on their beach house mantles--a salt water snail, as a matter of fact. Sounds good, right? Sea snails. Yum. Key West is all about the conch fritter, so I went on a quest to find the best one. You really can't open a restaurant on Duval Street and not put conch fritters on your menu, even if you don't know how to make them correctly or care to learn, so most of them are generic and uninteresting. All fritter and virtually no conch to speak of. I mean, come on, if I wanted a hush puppy I would have asked for one. Jesus. Well, you'll be happy to know that I did all of the work for you so now you can bypass all the posers and go straight to this place:

It's appropriately named, the Conch Shop, and it is located at 308 Petronia Street in Key West, near the Hemingway House. As you can see by the hand-painted sign, this is the place for "best conch fritters." They are served the right way: in a paper bag, piping hot, and with a nice remoulade, which I much prefer to any sort of marinara or what have you. I enjoyed actual, visible pieces of conch in every heavenly little dough ball. This place is the real deal. Thank you, Conch Shop. Thank you.

Next, local fish. Go to the Eaton Street Seafood Market for this. The woman there is very pleasant and knowledgeable. When you ask what's fresh, she tries not to laugh at you, which is as it should be. Everything in the case is there because that's what they caught this morning. Love it. I chose a local snapper--a beautiful mild white fish that I thought would probably want to be turned into delicious fish tacos. I was right. I marinated the filets in sour orange, lemon, and lime juices, and fresh garlic. Just did a simple pan fry, let it rest a bit, then flaked it up into a saliva-inducing pile of piscine flesh. I served it with a fresh pineapple and key lime salsa (pineapple, white onion, jalapeño, salt, key lime juice, cilantro), some chopped purple cabbage for crunch, and a squeeze of fresh lime. Oh, and corn tortillas. MUST use corn tortillas for fish tacos. Hot sauce on the table and you're ready to feast.

A quick note about the sour orange: I had been researching Cuban cuisine a while ago, and I read that sour orange is used in many dishes for marinating, dressing salads, etc. As part of my research, I went on an informational outing to Pambiche's Hora del Amigo. Their food is great and it's one of my favorite fun dining establishments. Be sure to check it out. The vaca frita is intensely satisfying. Anyway, I asked the server where they get their sour oranges. She seemed to think I was insane and suggested that it may not be an actual fruit, because they just use orange, lemon and lime juices to create the sour orange vinaigrette. (She did this in a very pleasant way, don't get me wrong.) So, I felt like an ass. Sour oranges...ha...what was I thinking? Well, as I'm perusing the aisles of the Key West Winn Dixie, what do I see in the produce section? That's right, none other than the sour orange. My culinary Atlantis. Eureka! It does exist, and I am not a crazy idiot. Thank God.

And finally: the Story of the Traveling Lamb.
My dad is a special guy, to say the least. Always thinking. He scored some great deal on a leg of lamb back in Pennsylvania before the vacation, but didn't have anyone to cook it for right away, so he froze it. He then realized that it would be the perfect celebratory dish for our first family vacation in years, so he had better bring it to Key West. It's frozen solid, mind you, so he figured that the flight from PA to sunny Florida would be just enough time for it to thaw appropriately by dinnertime in the Keys. So, he packed it in its own suitcase and flew it to Florida. And eat it we did. He made a delicious pan gravy and served it with parsley potatoes, just like Nan used to make. Nice work, Dad.

All of these meals were enjoyed to the timeless beats of Michael Jackson, who passed away during our time in the Keys. Cheers to you, MJ.

*Everyone's diet should probably include more fish, due to the high protein, low fat content of most of the little swimmers. The snapper is no exception. It, like many other fish, is also a good source of omega-3 fatty acids, which help to prevent blood clots and improve the ratio of good cholesterol to bad cholesterol in the body.

The Fish that Almost Got Away

OK, I'll admit it. It's just the slightest bit more difficult for me to get inspired about cooking when all the markets are out of season and it's all gray and gloomy outside. My pantry looks more like the boat dealerships around town during the economic crisis than a kitchen in the heart of Food Town. i.e. it's EMPTY. I had my grocery brainstorm written, but after a long day at work, I thought twice out venturing back out. And then it hit me...the freezer! Ah, what a wonderful invention. It magically locks all of that summer and fall goodness in time so I can relive it whenever I feel the urge. OK, so there's some Thai basil, some green beans, some veggie corn dogs...oh yeah, and a veritable mountain of wild-caught albacore tuna.

Brilliant! What better way to invoke the sunshine then to break out the tuna, pulled straight from the Oregon waves by my fearless fishing friends back in July? I spent that sweltering day enjoying the heat wave on my deck, sipping frozen cocktails and soaking up as much Vitamin D as I could stand, but some of my mates were up before the sun and en route to Newport Bay on a single mission: tuna. Needless to say, since my freezer is still mostly overtaken by vacuum-sealed loins of the stuff, they were very successful.

Granted, it's been frozen for a few months now, but I still think you should honor the food you cook, especially when it's literally traveled straight from the ocean to my little stuffed freezer. So, I decided to keep it relatively simple. I found one of the smaller loins (still a honkin' good size) and sliced it into thick medallions, and then for a quick assembly line: flavor, crunch, sear. For flavor, I mixed together some low-sodium soy sauce, a splash of rice wine vinegar (I like the seasoned kind), a shake of sesame oil, ginger, garlic, a blob of local honey, and a healthy dose of Sriracha (that's "Rooster Sauce" to some of you). Half of that went in a little sauce pan on the stove, and the other half stayed on the assembly line. Next on the line was a little plate of Panko, which are Japanese bread crumbs made from bread without crusts. I like these better than regular bread crumbs when you're really going for texture because they are much more coarse and impart and lovely crunch.

So it's as simple as that: tuna in the flavor on both sides, tuna in the crunch on both sides, then tuna in the pan (medium-high, with a bit of oil) and seared for just a couple of minutes on both sides. (Remember, ocean-to-plate tuna does not appreciate being over-cooked.) The sides were just as simple: some whole grain couscous with a bit of salt and lemon zest, and a couple of baby spinach leaves for color and to keep us Popeye-strong. The flavor I mentioned in the little sauce pan was just simmered with a bit of palm sugar to be drizzled over the finished product for an extra punch. Added bonus: it's pretty healthy, too!

Right before we sat down to eat, my boyfriend decided to set the mood by lighting a candle, setting the table, and stabbing himself right through the palm with a kitchen knife. Luckily, he survived and still has two functional hands, but due to this incident I can happily report that this meal is also pretty tasty as a cold entrée.

Viva la freezer!